Now on to the truly beefy stuff – Robert Kardashian’s widow has apparently made a decent chunk of change throughout the years selling overly sensational stories to the tabloids. You remember the rumor that Khloe wasn’t actually a legit Kardashian, which was officially disproved last season? That was apparently started by the woman ominously referred to as “The Widow”.
“The Widow”’ is at it again in this episode, telling the tabloids that Kris Jenner beat the Kardashian girls when they were children, which is pretty ridiculous, because Kris Jenner is many things, but I seriously doubt she was ever a child beater. “The Widow” has been a continual source of stress for the whole fam for a full decade, and Kim finally (rather dramatically) resolved to take action, 40 minutes into the episode. She called upon her “go-to PI,” a tall, brawny dude with a thin Fu Manchu mustache, to dig up a little dirt on “The Widow.”
Fun facts about “The Widow”: she was first married when she was 15. She’s been married a whopping 5 times, and she’s filed for bankruptcy twice. After the Kardashians threw a little dirt about “The Widow” on national TV, they met with an attorney to discuss their plan of action. I like how everyone pretended that a defamation of character suit wasn’t totally instinctual. (I spied a sunny yellow Birkin in Khloe’s lap in this scene – did you catch it?) The ladies finally decided to file a suit, but of course, things can never be that simple. “The Widow” eluded the law for a while, probably in an attempt to crank out a few more Kardashian tall tales for cash money before she was legally banned from doing so. Finally, “The Widow” was served her papers via a little bit of perfectly legit trickery. “That slippery snake has been served!” declared Kim. END SCENE.
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